Doug E. Pudge

Staying Humble

You know, I was thinking. One of the toughest things for the Pudgeman sometimes is staying in the background. I have been truly blessed by God to do things in various public forums. It is easy for me to be in front of a group to speak, teach, sing or perform. Now please don't get me wrong, I know that I am not the best at any of these things but it's stuff that I genuinely love to do and have been blessed by doing them over the years. One of the most difficult things for someone with these types of giftings is to stay out of the limelight. I can remember a few years ago while serving at another church I slipped back into my gambling addiction and was really struggling with getting back on track. At that time I was a worship leader and I felt it was necessary to step back from that for a while. I knew that niether God nor His people were wishing to force me to do something like this but I felt that I needed to gain my perspective. My intent was to take about three months away from this ministry and then to ease back into it. Well, I found out after three weeks that God had a different plan in mind and through the absolute love of His people He called me back into this ministry to serve how He wanted me to serve and He really didn't give a rip about what I thought was the right thing to do.

Why share all of this today? When you do things in the public eye you are easily tempted to do things your own way. For months I had been sinning in secret and stood before God's people in leadership! I learned a lot from that experience. It takes a very special servant to be in the public eye, to serve humbly and to stay pure hearted. I have struggled with that for a long time and that is probably why I have stayed in the background for a number of years now. I have been watching and learning from men and women of God and have grown a great deal. It is easy to covet or even become jealous of another persons giftings and to get caught up in what appears to be their popularity. But God has given me some new perspectives and directions lately that I believe are only going to bring glory to Him.

Over the the past few months my life has changed dramatically and all for the better. God has given me all of the desires of my heart and I walk a truly blessed life. I don't deserve all of these incredible blessing and am very humbled by them. Today is my four month anniversary and I can't believe that Rachel and I have only known each other for a little over 14 months. The love that we share is something that I can't even explain. I have never had a relationship like this and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has brought us together. As I was driving in to work this morning I was listening to the radio and this song by Casting Crowns came on and blessed me, so I hope that the lyrics will bless you also:

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Be blessed beyond belief today.

posted by Doug E. Pudge @ 6:51 AM