Thursday, May 17, 2007

Mental Instability

You know, I was thinking. You ever feel that for whatever reason that someone "just ain't right"? Well, have you ever looked in the mirror and said that? Have you ever thought to yourself that if the whole rest of the world seems off and I am the only sain one left then you have crossed over into mental instability? People have often asked my family "does Doug suffer from mental illness" to which they would all quickly reply "no, he enjoys it"! I know what most of you are thinking right now and that is "well it's about time he relized this." But follow my thoughts for a few minutes. Why is it that we will allow ourselves as imperfect people to form bonds and yes even long for relationships with imperfect people. I listen to a lot of people talking about how some of the relationships that they have now or have had in the past have caused them so much hurt. We all long for someone to be close to us but it is those very close relationships that can cause us the most hurt in our lives. It reminds me of the analogy of the man hitting himself in the head with a board. Someone asked him "why are you hitting yourself in the head with a board?" His answer was simply "because it feels so good when I stop!" Why do we form such close bonds with people when we know that the closer we get to them the more we can hurt them or be hurt by them?

Well, let me say first of all these are just my thoughts this morning. Don't jump to any conclusions and read anything in to this post. I haven't been hurt lately and to my knowledge I haven't caused anyone hurt. This has just been on the fore front of my mind these past few weeks. Back after my divorce in 1994 I swore that I would never let someone get close enough to cause me that amount of pain again! I was fond of saying that "relationships are risks and I am not willing to risk that much again." Well here I am in the closest relationship that I have ever had with anyone and am blessed that she is my wife. God designed us to need each other. It appears that something is written into our DNA that causes us to form tight bonds with other human beings. Nothing else will take that place in our lives.

So what about hurt? Why do we hurt those who are closest to us? Pride, selfishness, envy, lust, laziness and greed seem to float to the top of the list as far as I am concerned. I know that I have been let down by others and I have let others down. I also know that I have been hurt by others and I have indeed hurt others. Yet through it all I continue to form relationships. I continue to need people in my life. Relationships are risky but benefits to healthy relationships are well worth the pain that we might endure. I guess all of humanity in one way or another is suffering from mental instability! Some of us just show it more than others. Be blessed beyond belief today.


At 9:49 AM, Anonymous angie said...

That was a pretty good post. I enjoyed reading it.

At 10:28 AM, Blogger Doug E. Pudge said...

Who are you and what did you do with my niece? B4T

At 11:32 AM, Blogger Raivynn said...

Humans are selfish by nature. It comes down the genetic need for self-preservation. We want what will makes us feel better, safer, stronger.

What separates us from most animals is a concious choice in our actions. Some call this our soul.

Our soul is what allows us to put others before ourselves, to go against our nature, to want to better others, as well as ourselves.

Unfortunately, the flesh is often stronger than the spirit (soul). It is in those moments where we find ourselves hurting others. Sometimes intentionaly, often unintentionaly.

Those who have a strong spiritualness are typically less prone to "revert to nature". A relationship with God is key to avoiding that.

As Christians we move to be more Christ-like, more spiritual, away from the trappings and callings of the flesh. God helps us defy our base natures, though we often stumble. And though we stumble, or in spite of it perhaps, God is still there to help us back to our feet and move forward.

It is unfortunate that this base nature of ours much too often infiltrates our churches and Christian lives.

We have to remember we cannot do it alone. God is there to lend support, to guide us through His Word.

Well, I blogged on your blog again, Pudge. sorry. =/

At 12:53 PM, Blogger Doug E. Pudge said...

Raivynn, never ever appologize for any comment you make on this blog. I love your thoughts here. What you describe here is well defined by the apostle Paul in the book of Romans. The battle with the flesh is one that always has been and always will be. I battle more with my nature than I do with "evil forces" outside of me.
It is funny how the same drive that draws us to people (fleshly needs) is the same one that can destroy a relationship. As Children of God, if we keep Him first in our lives then these things happen less and less. B4T

At 8:23 PM, Anonymous wheresjim? said...

You know it occurred to me that you are a living example of the answer to your question. Like many things relationships are a risk reward decision. Being willing to take the risk is one of the key steps in healing. Once you have crossed over into a healed relationship you realize how great the reward can be. The only thing greater would be the total healing and full restoration of a broken relationship. My wife and I are a living testimony to the joy that can be realized from a healed and fully restored relationship that was once totally broken. I can tell you it was worth the risk to repair it. It was a lot of tears and a lot of pain but if you introduce Jesus into the picture your issues can get very small compared to the Savior. IDYBT IMBO

At 7:06 AM, Blogger Doug E. Pudge said...

Well said Jimmy. I wouldn't have things any other way then they are right now. B4T

At 8:14 AM, Anonymous angie said...

Yes doug i prolly could have got you really good here, but i thought I would be serious for once(don't expect that too much) and just say something nice. (So i pretty much didn't say anything about you). Love you.

At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

such a great post. i've been trying to find posts concerning why we hurt those closest to us. thanks for sharing your thoughts.


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