Stop The Ride Already
You know, I was thinking. Friday was Daniel's 11th birthday. To celebrate we let him have a sleep over on Friday night followed by a roller skating party on Saturday. Now, I don't know what planet any of these kids really come from but they invaded the planet Pudge on Friday night. I never new that six pre-teens could sustain that much high pitched noise for that length of time. The straw that broke the camels back was when they were right outside our bedroom door playing and laughing and yes still screaming in that pre-adolescent high pitched tone they have! Rachel got up to have them settle down! About ten minutes later here they go again. I wispered to my lovely wife "I thought you told them to settle down" to which she replied "I told them they had a half hour, do you want me to tell them to stop now?" My brain was saying "why did you give them a half hour? Why are they still alive? Why are we having this conversation right now?" But my mouth simply said "whatever you think dear!" Rachel immediately got up and took care of the situation. We did not hear another peep out of them............... until 6:30! I cannot believe that they even had any voice left after a full night of screaming, but they did. They were up playing video games in the living room when I came down at about 9:10. Now here are six boys that know they are going roller skating and that we need to leave by 9:30. They are still in pajamas, cloths and sleeping bags everywhere, cups & plates scattered, and there is my lovely wife in the kitchen fixing her mother some breakfast. I look at the boys and with the voice of a drill sargent begin with the words "alright boys lets move it! You've got 20 minutes and we need to get all of this junk picked up and put away before you leave." The boys immediately began to do as I had requested without as much as a "why" or an "in a minute"! Rachel looks at me with amazement and says "how did you do that? I have been trying to get them going for the last 15 minutes." I simply replied "I'm a guy, I speak their language!"I share all of this to ask this question: Why do kids (especially boys) often respond more quickly to a man giving them orders than to a woman. I know without a doubt that when I was younger that I would respond much faster to dad than I would mom. Is it the gender that makes the difference or is it that I (knowingly) have a much louder presence than my wife. Is it pure volumn or is there something that is more authoritative about a male giving these types of instructions than a female! I guess that's why parenting is best played as a team sport! I believe that there are some absolute qualities that women bring to the lives of children that most men never will figure out. Maybe I am off base here but how are things in your house? Who wheels the most authority with the kids dad or mom? How was it in your home when you grew up? I am just curious. All in all we survived both the sleep over and the party. Believe it or not we even had the energy to go out for a quiet dinner together on Saturday night. Children are a blessing........................... especially when they are sleeping! Be blessed beyond belief today.
posted by Doug E. Pudge @ 7:13 AM
5 Comments:
I'd say Tonia has a louder presence, but Tanner does respond differently when I pipe up and let him know what's what.
Growing up, my mother was the main disciplinarian. She spoke, we jumped. My step-father (who was DAD to me) rarely intervened, but when he did we listened.
There have been studies that show male children tend to respond betetr to an adult male due to the timbre of the voice being typically deeper than a woman's. Too, boys tend to look up to their fathers (or other male figures) more than their mothers. They strive to be like Dad. So when this icon of their youth speaks, they are more prone to listen.
That is, until the teenage years when they now know everything and are embarassed by their once pedestaled pop.
Girls, on the other hand, relate better with their moms on many things, even into teenage years. They still suffer from know-it-allism, but a Dad simply cannot relate to the things a young woman faces as her body changes.
Dads are still loved, but are seen more as security figures and a means of getting what they want by acting as Daddy's Little Girl. Which is just playing on the whole security thing as Dads see themselves as their daughter's protectors and benefactors.
Well to cut through all the psyco-babble in all the books and such, it's because men are more prone to back up our talk with discipline. Of course it helps when you lug around a softball bat, naturally I'm kidding. Back in my day we had respect for both our parents so all we needed was to be asked. Both my folks were disciplinarians. We knew we would either get dad's 2" wide belt or mom's wooden stick. Unfortunately, both parents were on the same page and if we weren't we would soon be.
The voice thing doesn't work with 15 year olds. Good luck in a few years.
Amen to the sleeping part. In our house it is shared. However, it depends on the situation. Emily chooses NOT to listen to me at all. So I know all the Psyco. bable stuff however, I believe that children respond to the father better because they have less interaction with the children than does the Mother. Men, Dad seem to tune thing out and Mom hears it all. Men get in on the action mostly late. The question should be who spends most of the time with the children? This I feel makes the differance. The parent the child spends less time with tends to have more power. Because they know the other parent better and know how to push it to the limit. That's all from me.. Oh Dougie don't you think mom was the more dominate parent??? Dad would usually spank us, but she was the one that made him most of the time.
I say it's because Dad's spank harder than Moms...at least in my house!
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