Thursday, April 06, 2006

Let's Lighten Things Up!

You know, I was thinking. In ancient times men would beat stick on the ground and swear at the top of their lungs, people called it madness. Today when men beat sticks on the ground and swear at the top of their lungs, they call it GOLF! Ah yes, golf! It is either the greatest sport invented by man or the biggest practical joke ever played by God! In honor of the Master's tournament that begins today, I want to just pay tribute to the glorious sport called golf!
One day Jesus, Moses and Peter came down from heaven (forget theology here and work with me, this is a funny one) to play a round of golf. The first hole is a 545 yard par five that has water on the left and nothing but trees on the right. The ideal first shot is would be at least 300 yards down the middle of the fairway. Peter is first on the tee. He pulls out his driver and crushes a drive straight down the middle of the fairway 305 yards. A magnificent shot! Moses is next. He pulls out his driver and absolutely launches one that is also straight down the middle of the fairway and ends up at 325 yards. An astonishing shot to say the least! Now it's Jesus' turn. He looks at Peter and Moses and says "you know, I was thinking. I once saw Jack Nickalus hit a one iron 330 yards". So Jesus pulls out his one iron hits the ball hard and pulls the it hard left. The shot did make it over the water but ended up in a lot of trouble and Jesus would have a difficult second shot. The three began going to their respective shots. Jesus decided that he would just walk across the pond to get to his shot. Another foresome witnessed Jesus walking across the pond. One of the men yelled out "hey who do you think you are? The saviour of the world or something?" Peter yells back and says "no, he thinks he's Jack Nickalus"!
Be blessed beyond belief today!

9 Comments:

At 8:34 AM, Blogger Russell said...

Love that one!

Are you sure that pond wasn't made of ice?

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger Swinging Sammy said...

ROFL. I was thinking about the ice comment. I have been laughing pretty hard... I keep getting this (probably blasphemous somehow) image of Jesus riding a boogie board of ice across the lake toward the apostles, hanging ten and the whole thing! How absolutely ridiculous!!!!

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger Swinging Sammy said...

oh yeah, and have you ever tried to stand on a small piece of anything floating in a still swimming pool (let alone a raging sea)? LOL

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger ryan said...

Golf the greatest sport ans=d think I thought it was Nascar, two sport I 'm quite get chasing a ball around i large well cut field or 30 guys driving around in a circle and going nowhere, but that just me

 
At 2:02 PM, Blogger big j said...

hey ryan it's 43 guys driving around in a circe "go gordon" com'on man let get it right at lease. :->

 
At 6:22 PM, Anonymous yearsin said...

You know a one bad thing about a good joke is that somebody always tries to follow it with a bad one. That reminds of a man that wasn't feeling to well, so he went to the doctor.....

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger Four-Leaf K' lover said...

i would have to say golf was one of Gods' joke....along with cheerleading. Sorry DEP

 
At 8:02 PM, Blogger Swinging Sammy said...

yep just get used to it, right Jim? LOL

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger Kodiak said...

I should have seen this one coming.

 

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