Forgiveness
You know, I was thinking. Last night I had the opportunity to sit around with a couple of brothers and just talk about stuff before I went to bowling. The topic we got off on was about forgiveness. The verse in particular was to forgive others as God has forgiven us. We pondered this thought for a few moments and the obvious question came up as to "how DOES God forgive us?" That is a good question! Here are the highlights:Forgiveness is a gift that is just waiting for us to receive. It can not be earned or bargained for but it can be received by just going to the Father (as it was with the prodical son).
True forgiveness can only come through the blood of Jesus! Trying to earn it or attain it is not possible.
Forgiveness is complete. Since God has already forgiven us (even before we transgress) we are forgiven without any strings attached! I don't have to jump through hoops or do anything super-human to have this forgiveness!
So, for us to forgive others as God has forgiven us isn't such an easy thing to do some times. We have got to be ready to forgive as soon as someone transgresses against us. Our fogiving nature does not depend on someone elses actions. In other words I have to forgive whether or not the other person appologizes, repents, makes restitution or even asks for my forgiveness. My heart does not depend on their actions what-so-ever! That's very difficult to do. My flesh cries out for justice but the Spirit of God that lives within me cries out to show mercy and kindness! No matter what has been done to me.
Are you a forgiving person? Do you hold grudges or hard feelings toward someone? Do you put conditions on who you forgive and when? I guess the question that needs to be asked here is a simple one: "WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? Be blessed beyond belief today.
posted by Doug E. Pudge @ 7:35 AM
12 Comments:
Okay question...If some one has done something to you repeatedly and you have forgiven them in the past yet they keep doing it..what then. Okay you will say forgive agian, alright I will forgive again, here is the problem. If the person is forgiven why do I not want to be around them given their pattern of behavior? If I have forgiven them how can I justify keeping them at arms length? However I can't keep putting myself in an unhealthy situation can I?
You brought it up this is definately something I struggle with.
Great question! I know that all of us probably struggle with this from time to time. If it is with friends we have the tendancy to allow friendships to go away, with family there can be definate rifts. I cannot cover all of the possibilities with this but I will make a few suggestions. Evaluate the transgression! What is this doing to you and the other person. You described something unhealthy, why is it unhealthy. Is it the transgression that makes this unhealthy or is the relationship itself unhealthy. Remember that forgiveness does not mean to just sweep things under the rug. Have you had discussions with this person and let them know your feelings? You can forgive, forget, heal and confront a bad situation all at the same time. Remember though that forgiveness MUST happen. If it doesn't then the person who will be hurt most by your unforgiveness is you. B4T
I couldn't agree more Tom. If someone has been stealing from you you can forgive them every time but if they continue to steal then you must address the behavior! Reconciliation requires two parties to make it work, forgiveness does not. B4T
My sister's husband murdered her. He physically, sexually, and emotionally abused my nephews. He stole their insurance money and fled to Mexico (which is why I think he's not been indicted for the murder yet, though the police have evidence). How do you forgive that? I'm not God. I don't have His all encompassing love. I don't hate the man who did these things. I think I may have moved beyond that. But I cannot forgive him, not truly forgive him. How do you handle something like that?
Worse, I cannot forgive my sister. She may be dead, and I hope in the arms of her Savior. But she shielded this abomination of a human being when we tried to intervene. Her greatest refuge was her God and her church. Refuge may be bad wording. Her excuse. God will fix this, God will heal us, God will ... I'm not sure I can forgive my own sister for allowing her blind faith to lend excuse to her husbands actions upon his children and her.
Then, if God knows what is to be, how can I forgive Him for allowing it? How can I feel towards what seems to be a capricious and unforgiving God? And I really don't want to hear another "No one can know God's ways" because it is cold comfort and nigh meaningless to me.
I post this not to stir trouble, nor really in a search for answers. Unless you can give me ones I've not heard in rhetorical speeches from well intentioned Christians numerous times in the last few years. Just offering another point of view of forgiveness.
Your post was very good, however. I know what Jesus would do, biblicaly. I simply am incapable of of it myself, in this case.
Raivynn, First of all thank you for sharing your feelings here. It is one thing to post about what a person should do and yet another to deal with such personal tragedies in real life. I know that it must be difficult for you to even write about such things let alone deal with them. I understand both your anger and frustration with this man, your sister and God. I cannot possible be of any great help to you in steering you in the right direction here. I cannot possibly tell you how to forgive in this situation but I can tell you this. God would never ask us to do something impossible. Since God has commanded us to be a forgiving people then it is somehow possible to forgive even in these circumstances. The real healing that you are seeking can only be found in forgiveness. How you get there is a journey only you can take. All of the scriptures that can be quoted and all of the philosophies that can be shared cannot make us fogiving people. It is only through giving up our will and control of our thoughts to the Holy Spirit that we could possible forgive in this situation.
I know that this falls very short in ansering your questions here. I am not qualified to do that. Just know that God loves you unconditionally and that Jesus has already forgiven everything and everybody if they will just receive it. Be blessed beyond belief today.
Great post DEP, I would add though that in the case of spouse or child abuse or neglect then intervention needs to happen and get somewhere safe. Sometimes a tough decision needs to be made in this situation. My aunt was abused and tormented for years, and for years she took the abuse. Finally she made the tough decision to end the abuse and filed for divorce, best decision she made. She remarried to a great guy.
Of a multitude of pastors, elders, and Christian counselors, none of them mentioned what you did. About God not asking us to do the impossible. Something to think on. Thanks.
Raivynn, thank you for your thoughts and your honesty. B4T
In that case, hawkman, I suppose I have set aside my anger about it. At least until I start to think of those things for a lengthy period. Some days, such as today, I can speak about it and not get that clench of cold ... something ... in my chest. Other days, such as when I wrote my initial comment, it slams into me with such force I feel as if I have broken in two. I wouldn't attack him or harrangue him if he suddenly showed up in town. (I'd call the police, to be sure). I don't think I could hold a conversation with the man, nor would I allow myself to stay near his presence, if I could help it.
In a way, that applies to God, too. I don't talk to God, I don't go to church (which is actually entirely different reasons that what I've dicussed .. it's an organized religion thing for me). I can't say I hate God, but I'd rather not have much to do with him, much like my sister's husband.
So, do you think, bibilicaly, I've released or let go? I feel I have, most of the time, but i suppose i haven't if i sometimes get hot about it all. =/
(For the record, you two have gotten me thinking more about this than anyone, and with information that was not seemingly tainted with faint condmenation for how I feel. So thanks.)
Raivynn,
I am glad that you have found some kind of "comfort" or "direction" in what has been written here. I never know if the things that get posted on ths blog even matter until an exchange of ideas like we have had happens. I do not believe it to be coincendence that this post was written or that you read it and responded to it. I will hold you and this entire situation up in prayer. I hope that you can find your way to a relationship with God that will show you that He is real and that He does indeed love you. Please let me know if I can help in anyway. Be blessed beyond belief today.
AMEN!
Reject Religion. Embrace Jesus.
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